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Once upon the time - believe it or not - I had a dream, and this dream is being dreamt again and again.
I am standing in front of the gates to the schoolyard which is populated with crowds of children screaming and running. I am a graduated student of English and French linguistics and I think I have done it. Today I am standing in the rain in my grey dress, a white shirt coloured by a red tie. I am going to pledge allegiance to the German constitution that will mean a new step in my career:
I will be a civil servant. The rain will not touch me under my black umbrella. I seem to be untouchable. The time is 10 o'clock sharp and while I am crossing the schoolyard my outward appearance changes: no, I am not yet a teacher, I am only a candidate. So all the academic self-confidence disappears slowly and out comes the old pupil, the shy student who has to race against time and across the hurdles in form of minutes of seminar sessions, outlined plans for lessons, reports and lessons. Day and night I am sitting at my desk desperately trying to find motivating ideas for the start of my next lesson, situations for grammar items, interesting stories for parallel versions to the boring texts of our school books and most of all strategies to reconcile pupils' behaviour, curricula, objectives, methods and materials in order to give lessons which can stand the critical eyes of my heads of the language departments. After a while I catch myself watching my actions through a magnifying glass listening to every word I say in front of a class, and I judge everything by principles, rules, insights that I have learnt from specialized literature, lectures and rumours. When I am really down, demotivated by failures and flops I remember the times when I was in the same situation at university. Yes, I had always succeeded in coming out from behind the fence, so why should there be any difference this time?
At last my examiners from the seminar and from school (my pupils) stated that I was well up in my subjects and in pedagogical ability to stand on my own feet. I had passed the finishing line, cheered, and celebrated the success with my fellows.
One hot day in August I am
standing in front of the gates to the schoolyard which is populated with
crowds of children screaming and running. I am a graduated teacher of English
and French and I think I have done it. The time is 7.30 o'clock - I have
come a bit earlier, you never know - and while I am crossing the schoolyard
my outward appearance changes:
No, I am not yet a teacher, I am
only a teacher to be. So all the academic self-confidence disappears slowly
and out comes the old pupil, the shy candidate who has to race against
time and across the hurdles in form of time-tables, outlined plans for
lessons, reports and lessons. Afternoons and nights I sit at my desk
desperately trying to find motivating ideas for the start of my next lesson,
situations for grammar items, interesting stories for parallel versions,
correcting notebooks and testbooks, making marks, arranging examinations
and innovating... and..and..and..and..
In short I have only one thought: school, school, school and...and...
One year and a half later everything changes: Now I am no longer a simple teacher. On May 2nd I am standing in front of the gates to the schoolyard which is populated with crowds of children screaming and running. I am the head of the English seminar and I think I have done it. The time is 7.30 o'clock - I have come a bit earlier, you never know - and while I am crossing the schoolyard my outward appearance changes: There are 24 young graduate students of English waiting for me to help them to become teachers. So all my self-confidence disappears slowly and out comes the old pupil, the shy teacher who has to race against time and across the hurdles in form of time-tables, lessons... lessons... lessons.... examinations... examinations... papers...papers...oral examinations....
And now a quarter of a century later I still have a dream but this time I hope it won't be a nightmare but the happy dream of creating a guideline to jump over the hurdles of becoming a teacher more easily so that perhaps one day another English teacher.....
But all of a sudden I can hear a voice in a tune full of doubt saying: "Can anybody hand over his experiences to anybody else who has not learnt the hard way?"
Please find out.
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Teaching Courses | HOMEPAGE | back to
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